


Where Did Those Come From?

by wild_banana



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Christmas Revenge, Gifts, Inspired by White Chicks, Jason's a Dweeb, Lingerie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 08:44:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2844959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wild_banana/pseuds/wild_banana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick jokingly gives Jason some bras but Jason gets his revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Did Those Come From?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm bored and have nothing to do on Christmas eve. I mean, its totally pointless so I had time to think and look at what happens. Enjoy!

Dick was literally running through some unnamed department store with various cheetah print bras and panties trying to beat the crowd to the front of the line. Christmas eve was ridiculous.

Many of the shoppers (mostly old ladies) were giving him odd looks as he power walked past them and finally made it to the cashier.

The young woman gave him an odd smile and asked,"Find everything you need?"

He looked up and said,"Yeah." As he swiped his card and typed in his number.

"I bet she'll love her gifts. You have a good fashion sense."

Dick smiled and said,"Oh, I know /she/ will."

•••

Jason stared down at the gift box on his bed. A note signed with Dick's initials sat on top of it and read

_Merry Christmas, Jay! I hope you like these, they reminded me of you._

_— DG_

Jason felt like something was up. First of all, how did Dick know where his safehouse was? Second, he had a feeling this present wouldn't be a coffee mug and chocolates. And thirdly, what the hell.

All kinds of paranoid thoughts ran through his head and finally he decided it would be best to open it.  Dick surely wouldn't have put a bomb inside it. Unless it was from the batbrat who had a grudge against him for no apparent reason. Or the replacement, but he had made up with him so maybe it was from Dick.

The wrapping paper was ugly enough to be picked out by Grayson and it weirdly smelled of perfume, which was unexplainable, but whatever.

Jason sat down next to it on the bed crossing his legs and ripped at the top. He recognized the box underneath as being from the giant ass mall in Gotham and wondered what Dick would have found there.

When he saw what was in the box, he froze. What he found was a....bra? With matching underwear? 

The bra was a crimson red with cream colored lace following the edges and with a ton of padding above the underwire. The panties followed the same pattern and were almost entirely see through lace. Jason at first felt like he wanted to kill Dick, but then he came up with an idea. He smiled menacingly.

•••

Dick was out on patrol for Christmas night. The whole city was lit up and the air just had that cold winter feel to it. Gotham was cold.

He was standing on the edge of a building when he heard someone approaching him from behind. He quickly turned and heard a familiar chuckle.

"Hey, don't get your panties in a bunch. Its just me." Red Hood smiled and walked closer.

Dick smiled, but there was something off about Jason. Specifically, /his uniform/.

"What is that? No, what are  _those?"_

Jason smed and looked at the spot where Dick was indicating. "These? Oh I decided to use your gift tonight. You see, my holster was cool and everything, but I found it a little inconvenient to have to reach that far to grab my guns.I find your gift very useful." He smiled

Jason had his uniform zipped down to the middle of his chest. The bra he was wearing was creating two large hills on his chest and the butts of two guns were sticking out over his exposed skin.

Jason crossed his hands to the opposite sides of his chest and brandished a gun in each hand.

"See? Its so much faster than going to my hips. Unfortunately, the panties you got me were too small so I didn't get a chance to try them out tonight. Oh and Night wing? I got you a gift too." Jason smiled and left before Dick could further ask him anything.

•••

At home, Dick climbed through his window, as usual, and feared for the worst. But his apartment was just as he had left it earlier that day.

He sighed in relief and began to strip down to take a shower when he noticed a box on his bed.

He swallowed and walked up to it. It read

_Merry Christmas, Boo! I had fun tonight;)_

His face turned beet red.

Inside were various magazines with men in lingerie showing way too much crotch area and crazily defined washboard abs. The titles all had something to do with Christmas and alongside the xrated magizines was a true blue giant dildo. He heard someone clear their throat behind him and turned to find Barbara glaring at him.

"You have ALOT of explaining to do."

He froze and gave a nervous smile," Merry Christmas?" 

**Author's Note:**

> idk where I was going with that but I just wanted jay wearing a bra.


End file.
